Blonde jokes
Three women are about to be executed for crimes they committed. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde.
Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready… Aim…” Suddenly the brunette yells, “Earthquake!” Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready… Aim…” The redhead then screams, “Tornado!” Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did and knew exactly what she needed to do. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready… Aim…”
The blonde shouts, “Fire!”
Three chicks were stranded on an deserted island - a brunette, redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” She swam out five miles and got really tired, by the time she made it ten miles she was too tired to go on, and she drowned.
The second chick, a redhead, said to herself, “I wonder if she made it. I guess it’s better to try to get to the mainland than to stay here and starve to death.” So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, and she drowned.
The blonde thought to herself, “I wonder if they made it! I think I’d better try to make it, too.” So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, “I’m too tired to go on!” So she swam back...
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